I've got a Ferrari. VROOM! I do 104 from the garage to the front door.
YOU are a genius!... and I am a genius because I married you.
Man can not live by bread alone ... he must have peanut butter.
My father would pass gas and then blame it on imaginary animals.
The weatherman is always right. It's just his timing that's off.
No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.