My father established our relationship when I was seven years old. He looked at me and said, “You know, I brought you in this world, and I can take you out. And it don't make no difference to me, I'll make another one look just like you.

Today's parents grew up with the silly notion that music was meant to be heard.

When a person has a gun, sometimes their mind clicks that this thing ... will win arguments and straighten people out.

Racial humor was about 35% of my act when I first started. But I realized that it was a crutch. What brought it home was when another comedian said to me, 'If you changed color tomorrow, you wouldn't have any material.' He meant it as a put-down, but I took it as a challenge.

Fathers are the geniuses of the house because only a person as intelligent as we could fake such stupidity.

You'll have many, many friends, but if your relationship with your mate is one hundred per cent of your heart, you'll never need a friend.

It is a point of pride for the American male to keep the same size jockey shorts for his entire life.