My father established our relationship when I was seven years old. He looked at me and said, “You know, I brought you in this world, and I can take you out. And it don't make no difference to me, I'll make another one look just like you.

A white person listens to my act and he laughs and he thinks, 'Yeah, that's the way I see it too.' Okay. He's white. I'm Negro. And we both see things the same way. That must mean that we are alike..... So I figure I'm doing as much for good race relations as the next guy.

My mother was an authority on pig sties. This is the worst looking pigsty I have ever seen in my life, and I want it cleaned up right now.

I'm not sure if my parents had me because they loved me, or because they wanted someone to watch their other children.

It's more blessed to give than to receive - especially kittens.

Calculus is one course you can come with to your parents and say, I am dropping it. And they'll understand.

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.