My latest blood test said my cholesterol was very high and my doctor recommended some medicine for it. I said "no" to his recommendation and he said "what are you going to do?" I said I ate my way into this and I'm going to eat my way out of it.

When a person has a gun, sometimes their mind clicks that this thing ... will win arguments and straighten people out.

A Hoyo de Monterrey double corona is my favourite Cuban since Desi Arnaz.

You are not going to 'go forth.' You are going to take that damn hat off and you're going to get a job.

Calculus is one course you can come with to your parents and say, I am dropping it. And they'll understand.

In my old neighborhood, a boy stopped playing when he began to lose his pulse. And then he became the referee.

If I use the word romance, whether it's my wife or not, it does not mean sex. We can use the word sex when sex is there.