I wasn't always black... there was this freckle, and it got bigger and bigger.

My children love my mother, and I tell my children, that is not the same woman I grew up with...That is an old woman trying to get into heaven now.

Poets have said that the reason to have children is to give yourself immortality. Immortality? Now that I have five children, my only hope is that they are all out of the house before I die.

Dentists tell you not to pick your teeth with any sharp metal object. Then you sit in their chair and the first thing they grab is an iron hook.

My grandfather said, "When you become senile, you won't know it."

If you can find humour in anything, you can survive it

Parents are not interested in justice, they're interested in peace and quiet.