You also notice that the right side of your face feels like it's sliding off of your skull. And your bottom lip is in your lap!

Ours is a youth culture, and like a golf tournament, we honor only low scores.

Even though your kids will consistently do the exact opposite of what you're telling them to do, you have to keep loving them just as much.

Calculus is one course you can come with to your parents and say, I am dropping it. And they'll understand.

No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.

My mother comes in my room and says, "Just look at this mess! This is a pig sty!" Now, I've already been in the room five hours, and she wants me to LOOK at it.

If you're a parent, the five worst words you can say to your children are, "When I was your age ..." You were never their age. You were older in the womb.