Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think - in a deeper voice.

In spite of the seven thousand books of expert advice, the right way to disciplne a child is still a mystery to most fathers and...mothers Only your grandmother and Genghis Khan know how to do it.

Nobody ever says, "Can I have your beets?

Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.

I am certainly not an authority on love because there are no authorities on love, just those who've had luck with it and those who haven't.

One of the great mistakes that can be made by a man of my age is to get involved in athletic competition with children-unless, of course, they are under six. And even then, stay away from hide-and-seek.

When you graduate from college, they tell you to follow your dreams. Does anyone say you have to wake up first?