I often try to tell kids to think about all the people who love you, don't cry over the one person who doesn't.

We're not raising children with the love that we need to.

As a comedian, I can walk out in front of 5000 people and not worry about a thing. Not a thing, believe me. But to stand up a face a camera and crew of maybe 15 guys and get up tight about it - to me that's weird.

You people are not prepared. You are well educated and you look cute, but that's not going to cut it.

Nothing separates the generations more than music. By the time a child is eight or nine, he has developed a passion for his own music that is even stronger than his passions for procrastination and weird clothes.

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.

All around the United States of America - in the cities and the counties - our public education is suffering and has been suffering. Cuts, cuts, cuts.