My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own fatherhood, but it didn't because parenting can only be learned by people who have no children.

Racial humor was about 35% of my act when I first started. But I realized that it was a crutch. What brought it home was when another comedian said to me, 'If you changed color tomorrow, you wouldn't have any material.' He meant it as a put-down, but I took it as a challenge.

Well, I really don't know what the secret of success is but I can tell you that the secret of failure is to try to please everyone.

My mother was an authority on pig sties. This is the worst looking pigsty I have ever seen in my life, and I want it cleaned up right now.

I often try to tell kids to think about all the people who love you, don't cry over the one person who doesn't.

I am not afraid of crashing, my secret is . . . just before we hit the ground, I jump as high as I can.

My dad came over to the house... went into his pocket and pulled out a handful of money, and began to pass it out to the children... This was the same man who, when I was his child, I would ask him for 50 cents, this man would tell me his life's story.