Well, I really don't know what the secret of success is but I can tell you that the secret of failure is to try to please everyone.

The problem is that your daughter has given her heart to a 15-year-old boy, and a 15-year-old boy does not yet qualify as a human being.

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.

You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.

We’ve got to get the gun out of the hands of people who are supposed to be on neighborhood watch.

Children today know more about sex than I or my father did.

Dentists tell you not to pick your teeth with any sharp metal object. Then you sit in their chair and the first thing they grab is an iron hook.