Our children are trying to tell us something. And we are not listening.

These people marched and were hit in the face with rocks to get an education and now we've got these knuckleheads walking round.

There is no labor a person does that is undignified; if they do it right.

What best defines a child is the total inability to receive information from anything not plugged in.

I love it when mothers get so mad they can't remember your name. "Come here, Roy, er, Rupert, er, Rutabaga... what is your name, boy? And don't lie to me, because you live here, and I'll find out who you are."

The weatherman is always right. It's just his timing that's off.

I'm not sure if my parents had me because they loved me, or because they wanted someone to watch their other children.