Why do I have to feed the kids? They just ate twelve hours ago!

Education happens to be something that all people, all cultures, need to embrace. Math, science, the words of the world. To be able to speak and be able to have clarity and to be able to think. Those are the greatest of gifts.

We parents ask dumb questions, therefore we get dumb answers.

In spite of what Thomas Jefferson wrote, all men may be created equal, but not to all women.

Every romance does not lead to sex.

I use the exercise room early, because I don't want to get on the treadmill and everyone's going 'Oh, Bill Cosby,' and then they come around to see how fast I'm walking, and it becomes very competitive.

I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time.