You go and you buy a lottery ticket. You've got just as much chance of getting struck by lightning as you do of winning the lottery.

I'm a Christian. But Muslims are misunderstood. Intentionally misunderstood. We should all be more like them.

The first-born in every family is always dreaming for an imaginary older brother or sister who will look out for them.

I feel that in-person contact with people is the most important thing in comedy. While I'm up on stage, I can actually put myself into the audience and adjust my pace and tuning to them. I can get into their heads through their ears and through their eyes. Only through this total communication can I really achieve what I'm trying to do.

You go and you buy a lottery ticket. You've got just as much chance of getting struck by lightning as you do of winning the lottery.

Your parents put a curse on you - Someday your kids are going to act just like you.

The most important educational vehicle in all life is a parent figure.