It doesn't make any difference how much money a father earns, his name is always Dad-Can-I.... Like all other children, my five have one great talent: they are gifted beggars. Not one of them ever ran into the room, looked up at me, and said, "I'm really happy that you're my father, and as a tangible token of my appreciation, here's a dollar.

My father established our relationship when I was seven years old. He looked at me and said, “You know, I brought you in this world, and I can take you out. And it don't make no difference to me, I'll make another one look just like you.

My wife and I have five children and the reason why we have five children is because we do not want six.

We're not raising children with the love that we need to.

Why do I have to feed the kids? They just ate twelve hours ago!

These people marched and were hit in the face with rocks to get an education and now we've got these knuckleheads walking round.

If you took your child to the dentist and check for cavities, the child likely won't get them. If you take them just for emergency, that's all they're gonna get.