When I was a child, I was living in the housing projects of Philadelphia. I didn't even have a Christmas tree.

If you want to be seen, stand up. If you want to be heard, speak up. If you want to be appreciated, shut up.

When a person has a gun, sometimes their mind clicks that this thing ... will win arguments and straighten people out.

We’ve got to get the gun out of the hands of people who are supposed to be on neighborhood watch.

You know the only people who are always sure about the proper way to raise children? Those who've never had any.

The serve was invented so that the net could play.

I love it when mothers get so mad they can't remember your name. "Come here, Roy, er, Rupert, er, Rutabaga... what is your name, boy? And don't lie to me, because you live here, and I'll find out who you are."