People will frighten you about a graduation.... They use words you don't hear often: And we wish you Godspeed." It is a warning, Godspeed. It means you are no longer welcome here at these prices."

You also notice that the right side of your face feels like it's sliding off of your skull. And your bottom lip is in your lap!

'Don't worry about senility', my grandfather used to say.

That's why ears have cartilage, to keep them from flapping.

Immortality is a long shot, I admit. But somebody has to be first.

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.

When you're a father you censor yourself. You get just as angry with a child but you don't want to say, "What the filth and foul and I'll filth and foul, filth and foul and, yeah, ya filth and foul face, and I'll filth and foul, foul, filth!" You don't want to say that to a child so you censor yourself and you sound like an idiot: "What the... Get your... I'll put a... Get out of my face!"