You know the only people who are always sure about the proper way to raise children? Those who've never had any.

Any husband who says, "My wife and I are completely equal partners," is talking about either a law firm or a hand of bridge.

You are more important to yourself than you think you are.

As a comedian, I can walk out in front of 5000 people and not worry about a thing. Not a thing, believe me. But to stand up a face a camera and crew of maybe 15 guys and get up tight about it - to me that's weird.

I often try to tell kids to think about all the people who love you, don't cry over the one person who doesn't.

All men should freely use those seven words which have the power to make any marriage run smoothly: You know dear, you may be right

My wife was a beautiful woman before we had children.