Why do kids always say peace out, I though peace was in.

Why do kids always say peace out, I though peace was in.

A pelican that is wet walks with a gated limp, but a dry fish swims alone.

In your 50s, time becomes precious and must not be wasted. Every minute is an excellent opportunity for a good nap. Happy 50th birthday!

Fathers are the geniuses of the house because only a person as intelligent as we could fake such stupidity.

My mother was an authority on pig sties. This is the worst looking pigsty I have ever seen in my life, and I want it cleaned up right now.

When my son was murdered people asked me how I felt about God and what had happened to my son. I said "no, you can't go there. You have to understand that there is a devil and he works 24/7. Whoever murdered our son was with the devil."