The serve was invented so that the net could play.

George Carlin is brilliant with words, and Johnny Winters is very creative. It's taking something common and drawing out the humor, being clever with words.

Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.

Sometimes you try to help people, and it backfires on you, and then they try to take advantage of you.

You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.

Old is always fifteen years from now.

The weatherman is always right. It's just his timing that's off.