I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.

I'm not saying looting is good, ... But I'm saying surely at a time when your child needs diapers and you need food, when does looting stop.

I am not afraid of crashing, my secret is . . . just before we hit the ground, I jump as high as I can.

I didn't know how serious it is to a female that you lift the lid.

If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right.

Calculus is one course you can come with to your parents and say, I am dropping it. And they'll understand.

Nothing separates the generations more than music. By the time a child is eight or nine, he has developed a passion for his own music that is even stronger than his passions for procrastination and weird clothes.