Never forget that the devil is there 24/7 too. He's very, very busy.

The dentist drills some more and you hear him make a mistake. And to cover it up, they all say the same thing: "Okay, rinse."

A pelican that is wet walks with a gated limp, but a dry fish swims alone.

In spite of the six thousand manuals on child raising in the bookstores, child raising is still a dark continent and no one really knows anything. You just need a lot of love and luck - and, of course, courage.

If you want to be seen, stand up. If you want to be heard, speak up. If you want to be appreciated, shut up.

I said to a guy, "Tell me, what is it about cocaine that makes it so wonderful," and he said, "Because it intensifies your personality." I said, "Yes, but what if you're an asshole?"

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.