If you want to be seen, stand up. If you want to be heard, speak up. If you want to be appreciated, shut up.

College was a wonderful time - except, of course, when it was trying to teach you things.

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.

Laughter brings out the child in all of us.

In spite of the seven thousand books of expert advice, the right way to disciplne a child is still a mystery to most fathers and...mothers Only your grandmother and Genghis Khan know how to do it.

Don't talk yourself into not being you.

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.