"And tired" always followed sick. Worst beating I ever got in my life, my mother said, "I am just sick..." And I said, "And tired." I don't remember anything after that.

The worst thing to do is to die while reading LIFE magazine.

My eleven year old daughter mopes around the house all day waiting for her breasts to grow.

Anyone who has brought up children knows that consistency has absolutely nothing to do with discipline.

we cannot afford to settle for being just average; we must learn as much as we can to be the best that we can. The key word is education - education with maximum effort. Without it, we cannot be in charge of ourselves or anyone else.

I want all this loud profanity in the street stopped. I want people to think about choices.

I feel that in-person contact with people is the most important thing in comedy. While I'm up on stage, I can actually put myself into the audience and adjust my pace and tuning to them. I can get into their heads through their ears and through their eyes. Only through this total communication can I really achieve what I'm trying to do.