Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework.

When you graduate from college, they tell you to follow your dreams. Does anyone say you have to wake up first?

You people are not prepared. You are well educated and you look cute, but that's not going to cut it.

Even though your kids will consistently do the exact opposite of what you're telling them to do, you have to keep loving them just as much.

You know the only people who are always sure about the proper way to raise children? Those who've never had any.

Racial humor was about 35% of my act when I first started. But I realized that it was a crutch. What brought it home was when another comedian said to me, 'If you changed color tomorrow, you wouldn't have any material.' He meant it as a put-down, but I took it as a challenge.

Education happens to be something that all people, all cultures, need to embrace. Math, science, the words of the world. To be able to speak and be able to have clarity and to be able to think. Those are the greatest of gifts.