Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework.

With my wife Camille's help, I took to social networking. I'm working with the computers.

I often try to tell kids to think about all the people who love you, don't cry over the one person who doesn't.

A baseball manager has learned a lot about his job from having played the game, but a parent has not learned a thing from having once been a child.

And of course, when you see your brother in the toilet bowl...there's a little voice that say, 'I wonder where he would go...'...if it hadn't been for his head.

I can't even talk the way these people talk. 'Why you ain't?' 'Where you is?' Everybody knows it's important to speak English except these knuckleheads. You can't be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth.

Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His kids.