People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what's bitter and move on.
Parents are not interested in justice, they're interested in peace and quiet.
When a person has a gun, sometimes their mind clicks that this thing ... will win arguments and straighten people out.
It is a warning, Godspeed. It means you are no longer welcome here at these prices.
I don't wear no condom and I don't plan for no kids.
Racial humor was about 35% of my act when I first started. But I realized that it was a crutch. What brought it home was when another comedian said to me, 'If you changed color tomorrow, you wouldn't have any material.' He meant it as a put-down, but I took it as a challenge.