The mother may be doing ninety percent of the disciplining, but the father still must have a full-time acceptance of all the children. He never must say, "Get these kids out of here; I'm trying to watch TV." If he ever does start saying this, he is liable to see one of his kids on the six o'clock news.

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.

The worst thing to do is to die while reading LIFE magazine.

I can't even talk the way these people talk. 'Why you ain't?' 'Where you is?' Everybody knows it's important to speak English except these knuckleheads. You can't be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth.

Man can not live by bread alone ... he must have peanut butter.

I am certainly not an authority on love because there are no authorities on love, just those who've had luck with it and those who haven't.

You can't compete with Walmart. But you can have smaller businesses that are successful.