The mother may be doing ninety percent of the disciplining, but the father still must have a full-time acceptance of all the children. He never must say, "Get these kids out of here; I'm trying to watch TV." If he ever does start saying this, he is liable to see one of his kids on the six o'clock news.

I’m supposed to figure out if the glass is half full or half empty,” I told her. Without a moment’s hesitation, in a split second, my grandmother shrugged and said: “It depends on if you’re drinking or pouring.

Family is conflict and it's something that we all relate to.

The wisest married men give in early. They get in touch with the wife side of themselves, and that's when they stop arguing.

In my old neighborhood, a boy stopped playing when he began to lose his pulse. And then he became the referee.

Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His kids.

I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.