I brought you in this world, and I can take you out!

My children love my mother, and I tell my children, that is not the same woman I grew up with...That is an old woman trying to get into heaven now.

If you listen carefully to what a child is saying to you, you'll see that he has a point to make. So I listen. And I answer them just as seriously as possible. And if I don't know the answer, I'll tell them I don't know.

Our children are trying to tell us something. And we are not listening.

I said to a guy, "Tell me, what is it about cocaine that makes it so wonderful," and he said, "Because it intensifies your personality." I said, "Yes, but what if you're an asshole?"

Take your bottom lip and pull it over your head.

Sometimes you try to help people, and it backfires on you, and then they try to take advantage of you.