It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer's pussy.

We really are All One....this is the very philosophy that has kept me virtually anonymous in America for fifteen years.

Don't worry; don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride.

Sometimes you feel in control, and it's great, but sometimes you just don't feel in control and you really have to struggle to get laughs.

This is the idea that has made me...an anonymous figure in America...If you have children here tonight...they are NOT special.

I can't watch TV longer than five minutes without praying for nuclear holocaust.

Billy Ray Cyrus does not smoke. Michael Bolton doesn't...Paula Abdul doesn't...there does seem to be a pattern.