It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer's pussy.

It's an insane world, and I'm proud to be a part of it.

"Smoking may cause fetal injury or premature birth." ... I found my brand. Just don't get the ones that say, "Lung Cancer."

What do you say we lighten things up and talk about abortion?

Courtroom for Ted Bundy's trial is packed with women, trying to meet him and give him love letters and wedding-fucking-proposals...and the first thought that enters my mind is, "And I'm not getting laid." What am I doing wrong?

If ur going to have a war on drugs, have them against ALL drugs, including alcohol, the number one offender.

It has become more and more obvious that there is one political party in America, and that is The Business Party.