You're not a human till you're in my phone book. There. My hat is now in the political ring.

Life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.

I've had good times on drugs...bad times on drugs...But I've had good and bad relationships...and I'm not giving up pussy.

Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye.

We are one with God and He loves us. Now if that isn't a hazard to this country-How're we gonna keep building nuclear weapons?

To make marijuana against the law is like saying God made a big mistake.

People say to me, Hey, Bill, the war made us feel better about ourselves. Really? What kind of people are these with such low self-esteem that they need a war to feel better about themselves? May I suggest, instead of a war to feel better about yourself, perhaps... sit-ups? Maybe a fruit cup? Eight glasses of water a day?