Folks, it's time to evolve. That's why we're troubled. You know why our institutions are failing us, the church, the state, everything's failing? It's because, um - they're no longer relevant. We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?

This is the idea that has made me...an anonymous figure in America...If you have children here tonight...they are NOT special.

Billy Ray Cyrus does not smoke. Michael Bolton doesn't...Paula Abdul doesn't...there does seem to be a pattern.

I ascribe to Mark Twain's theory that the last person who should be President is the one who wants it the most. The one who should be picked is the one who should be dragged kicking and screaming into the White House.

Childbirth is no more a miracle then eating food and a turd coming out of your ass.

Yesterday, some hooligans knocked over a dustbin in Shaftesbury.

The Voice of Reason is in us all...and everyone can recognize it because it makes sense and everyone benefits from it equally.