This is the idea that has made me...an anonymous figure in America...If you have children here tonight...they are NOT special.

I don't get along with anything, I really don't...I'm, I'm, maybe I'm just a, you know, incredibly tasteful human being.

I can't watch TV longer than five minutes without praying for nuclear holocaust.

It's an insane world, and I'm proud to be a part of it.

I believe that the Bible is the literal word of God. And I say no, it's not, Dad. Well, I believe that it is. Well, you know, some people believe they're Napoleon. That's fine. Beliefs are neat. Cherish them, but don't share them like they're the truth.

If ur going to have a war on drugs, have them against ALL drugs, including alcohol, the number one offender.

I was over in Australia during Easter, which was really interesting. You know, they celebrate Easter the exact same way we do, commemorating the death and resurrection of Jesus by telling our children that a giant bunny rabbit left chocolate eggs in the night. Now I wonder why we're f-ked up as a race. I've read the Bible. I can't find the word "bunny" or "chocolate" anywhere in the f-king book.