They proved that if you quit smoking, it will prolong your life. What they haven't proved is that a prolonged life is a good thing. I haven't seen the stats on that yet.

That's what I hate about the war on drugs. All day long we see those commercials: "Here's your brain, here's your brain on drugs", "Just Say No", "Why do you think they call it dope?" … And then the next commercial is [singing] "This Bud's for yooouuuu." C'mon, everybody, let's be hypocritical bastards. It's okay to drink your drug. We meant those other drugs. Those untaxed drugs. Those are the ones that are bad for you.

I was always 'awake'...Some part of me clamoring for NEW insights and NEW ways to make the world a better place.

What before seemed a...frustrating wall, the comic deftly and fearlessly steps through, proving the absurdity of it all.

It's not that I disagreed with Bush's economic policy... I believed he was a child of Satan here to destroy the planet.

Women priests. Great, great. Now there's priests of both sexes I don't listen to.

If ur going to have a war on drugs, have them against ALL drugs, including alcohol, the number one offender.