I can't watch TV longer than five minutes without praying for nuclear holocaust.

So, it's good to be here, wherever I am.

Oh my God. Lift me up out of this illusion, Lord. Heal my perception that I might know only reality and only you.

They Want You To Be A Docile Apathetic Consumer

It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer's pussy.

Ever notice that people who believe in creationism look really unevolved? Eyes real close together, big furry hands and feet. "I believe God created me in one day." Yeah, looks like he rushed it.

Man, the Beatles were so high, they let Ringo sing a coupla tunes. Tell me they weren't partyin'.