I can't watch TV longer than five minutes without praying for nuclear holocaust.

I'm an American who loves an America which doesn't exist, which is a land of freedom and free ideas.

It's my object to be stared at like a dog that's just been shown a card trick.

Good comedy helps people know they're not alone. Great comedy provides an answer.

Do I have a message? Yes, I do. Here's my message: as scary as the world is – and it is – it is merely a ride ...

Just a simple choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one. Here's what we can do to change the world, right now, to a better ride. Take all that money we spend on weapons and defenses each year and instead spend it feeding and clothing and educating the poor of the world, which it would pay for many times over, not one human being excluded, and we could explore space, together, both inner and outer, forever, in peace.

That's what I'm gonna do: quit gradually...I'm gonna lose one lung; little while later I'm gonna lose the other one.