I was a weekend drinker...I'd start on Saturday, end on Friday...thought I was controlling it...but I don't drink any more.

I believe the cost of life is Death and we will all pay that in full. Everything else should be a gift.

You watch the news these days? It's unbelievable. You think you just walk out your door, you're immediately gonna be raped by some crack-addicted, AIDS-infected pitbull.

I was in Australia....Lotta leg room down under. Apartments: dollar a month. 2000-acre den....think of the parties.

If I thought the Jews killed God, I'd worship the Jews.

I, like all artists in Western cultures, am a shaman...come in the guise of a comic...to heal perception by using...'jokes'.

Let me tell you about gays in the military. I don't want any gay people hanging around me while I'm killing kids. I just don't want to see it.