Oh--won't we party hard when L.A. goes kersplash?...L.A. fell in the ocean?... There is a God. He loves us all so much.

You watch the news these days? It's unbelievable. You think you just walk out your door, you're immediately gonna be raped by some crack-addicted, AIDS-infected pitbull.

Marijuana grows naturally...Don't you think making nature against the law seems a bit, I don't know, unnatural?

Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children.

How do I know the Bible isn't the word of God? Well if it was the word of God it would be clear and easy to understand...considering God was the creator of LANGUAGE!

The puppet on the right shares my beliefs, the puppet on the left is more to my liking. Hey...there's one guy holding up both!

Truly, the only stupid people I've ever met, the most absolutely clueless, are the very people that produce television.