Will there be titty? Sure. Boom! I'm a producer. Where you been all our life, boy? We been lookin for you in Hollywood.

The definition of black irony is Pro-lifers killing Doctors who do abortions

So scary watching the news...Like Iraq...could ever under any stretch of the imagination be any threat to us whatsoever.

How come people always flip and think they're Jesus? Why not Buddha? Particularly in America, where more people resemble Buddha than Jesus. 'Ah'm BUDDHA!' 'You're Bubba!' 'Ah'm Buddha now..All I gotta do is change 3 letters on ma belt.

It's not that I disagreed with Bush's economic policy... I believed he was a child of Satan here to destroy the planet.

Supreme Court says pornography is anything without artistic merit that causes sexual thoughts, that's their definition, essentially. No artistic merit, causes sexual thoughts. Hmm... Sounds like... every commercial on television, doesn't it? You know, when I see those two twins on that Doublemint commercial? I'm not thinking of gum. I am thinking of chewing, so maybe that's the connection they're trying to make.

That's starting to depress me about UFOs. The fact that they cross galaxies...and always end up in places like Fyfe, Alabama.