People often ask me where I stand politically. It's not that I disagree with Bush's economic policy or his foreign policy, it's that I believe he was a child of Satan sent here to destroy the planet Earth. Little to the left.

Women priests. Great, great. Now there's priests of both sexes I don't listen to.

I'm a heavy smoker. I go through two lighters a day.

Oh--won't we party hard when L.A. goes kersplash?...L.A. fell in the ocean?... There is a God. He loves us all so much.

Mister, I don't want no trouble. I just came downtown here to get some hard rock candy for my kids, some gingham for my wife. I don't even know what gingham is, but she goes through about ten rolls a week of that stuff. I ain't looking for no trouble, Mister.

I go to dance clubs...about once a year just to justify the other 364 days I spend in my apartment going 'God, what idiots!'

We are one with God and He loves us. Now if that isn't a hazard to this country-How're we gonna keep building nuclear weapons?