Mummy, I woke today and there was a Lincoln Log in me sock drawer! ... That's the story of Jesus.

When you're...stepping over a guy on the sidewalk...does it ever occur to you to think, 'Wow. Maybe our system doesn't work?'

Jesus-murdered. Martin Luther King-murdered. Gandhi-murdered. Malcolm X-murdered. Reagan-wounded.

The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love, instead, see all of us as one.

Good comedy helps people know they're not alone. Great comedy provides an answer.

Nonsmokers--this is for you and you only. Ready? Nonsmokers die every day. Sleep tight.

Our next Cold War ought to be with ourselves...After all, who poses the biggest danger to the American environment? We do.