We are the facilitators of our own creative evolution.

[Comedy] is an escape from illusions. The audience is...thinking, 'This bullshit we see and hear all day makes no sense.'

The role of the comedian is to say 'Wait a minute' when a consensus starts to form.

I can't watch TV longer than five minutes without praying for nuclear holocaust.

Marijuana: a drug that kills … no one – and let's put it in a time frame – ever. Illegal.

I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution. OK, not the most popular idea ever expressed. Either that or you're all real high and agreeing with me in the only way you can right now. (Starts blinking)

To me pornography is...spending all your money and not educating the people in America, but spending it instead on weapons.