Speaking of Satan, I was watching Rush Limbaugh the other day.

People always snap and think they're Jesus. How come no one ever snaps and thinks they're Buddha?

It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer's pussy.

Let's do some comedy. I always like to add some comedy to my show. Those who've seen me before might know that.

I, like all artists in Western cultures, am a shaman...come in the guise of a comic...to heal perception by using...'jokes'.

Oh--won't we party hard when L.A. goes kersplash?...L.A. fell in the ocean?... There is a God. He loves us all so much.

I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution. OK, not the most popular idea ever expressed. Either that or you're all real high and agreeing with me in the only way you can right now. (Starts blinking)