I find it ironic that people who are against things that cause sexual thoughts are generally fundamentalist Christians who also believe you should be fruitful and multiply.

Laughter makes the bitter swallowing of truth, for some, a little easier.

It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer's pussy.

I've had good times on drugs...bad times on drugs...But I've had good and bad relationships...and I'm not giving up pussy.

We all pay for life with death, so everything in between should be free.

Sometimes you feel in control, and it's great, but sometimes you just don't feel in control and you really have to struggle to get laughs.

Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children.