I smoke to fill the potholes in my soul

Laughter makes the bitter swallowing of truth, for some, a little easier.

Do I have a message? Yes, I do. Here's my message: as scary as the world is – and it is – it is merely a ride ...

We are one with God and He loves us. Now if that isn't a hazard to this country-How're we gonna keep building nuclear weapons?

If ur going to have a war on drugs, have them against ALL drugs, including alcohol, the number one offender.

Sometimes you feel in control, and it's great, but sometimes you just don't feel in control and you really have to struggle to get laughs.

It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer's pussy.