It's not a war on drugs, it's a war on personal freedom.

I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution.

And I'm not getting laid! What am I doing wrong?

Good comedy helps people know they're not alone. Great comedy provides an answer.

Is it impossible to imagine Americans sneaking into Mexico en masse, seeking regular employment and a better way of life?

How many people disapprove of the job the Conservatives are doing? Seventy percent. Of those same people, how many will vote for them again? ...Seventy percent. What the fuck? Where did they take this poll, at an S&M parlor?

It's not that I disagreed with Bush's economic policy... I believed he was a child of Satan here to destroy the planet.