Rock stars against drugs--that's what we want, isn't it? Government-approved rock-n-roll? Woo! We're partying now!

People always snap and think they're Jesus. How come no one ever snaps and thinks they're Buddha?

To me pornography is...spending all your money and not educating the people in America, but spending it instead on weapons.

Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children.

We'll see who believes in me now. I am the Prankster God - I am killing me!

Our next Cold War ought to be with ourselves...After all, who poses the biggest danger to the American environment? We do.

They proved that if you quit smoking, it will prolong your life. What they haven't proved is that a prolonged life is a good thing. I haven't seen the stats on that yet.