What does an atheist scream when they come?

I'm sorry if any of you are Catholic. I'm not sorry if you're offended, I'm actually just sorry by the fact that you're Catholic.

That's what I'm gonna do: quit gradually...I'm gonna lose one lung; little while later I'm gonna lose the other one.

What are you reading for?

We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?

Women priests. Great, great. Now there's priests of both sexes I don't listen to.

"Smoking may cause fetal injury or premature birth." ... I found my brand. Just don't get the ones that say, "Lung Cancer."