Yesterday, some hooligans knocked over a dustbin in Shaftesbury.

I used to love to call L.A. when I lived in New York... Is that the Big One I hear in the background? Bye, you lizard scum! Bye!

Mummy, I woke today and there was a Lincoln Log in me sock drawer! ... That's the story of Jesus.

So, it's good to be here, wherever I am.

We are one with God and He loves us. Now if that isn't a hazard to this country-How're we gonna keep building nuclear weapons?

You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really un-evolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet. "I believe God created me in one day". Yeah, looks like He rushed it

People always snap and think they're Jesus. How come no one ever snaps and thinks they're Buddha?