They believe the bible is the exact word of God - Then they change the bible! Pretty presumptuous, hu huh? "I think what God meant to say..."

Do I have a message? Yes, I do. Here's my message: as scary as the world is – and it is – it is merely a ride ...

I'm glad mushrooms are against the law, because I took them one time, and you know what happened to me? I laid in a field of green grass for four hours going, "My God! I love everything." Yeah, now if that isn't a hazard to our country... How are we gonna justify arms dealing when we realize that we're all one?

To me pornography is...spending all your money and not educating the people in America, but spending it instead on weapons.

Don't worry; don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride.

Sometimes you feel in control, and it's great, but sometimes you just don't feel in control and you really have to struggle to get laughs.

Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye.