Childbirth is no more a miracle then eating food and a turd coming out of your ass.
If I thought the Jews killed God, I'd worship the Jews.
Rock stars against drugs--that's what we want, isn't it? Government-approved rock-n-roll? Woo! We're partying now!
[Comedy] is an escape from illusions. The audience is...thinking, 'This bullshit we see and hear all day makes no sense.'
Just one thing I know for sure, chicks dig jerks.
....All drugs should be legal. War is wrong. The rich get richer. The poor get poorer. Thank you. I'll be here all week.