New Rule: Since our new national position on science is, "Screw it, we prefer witchcraft," let's not just retire the Space Shuttle Atlantis. Let's drive it to one of the five stupidest States and have the locals beat it with sticks. Putting it in a museum is too dangerous. Someone could steal it, fly it into space and notice we revolve around the sun.
Bill MaherEmergency rooms will be used the way they were intended to be used: not for primary care, but for when the average freaky American get some strange object up his ass.
Bill MaherIt's very well known that the Republicans have problems with minorities. The Democrats have big problems with white people. Obama only got 39% of the vote. He only got 36% of the working-class white people.
Bill MaherAlso, in the category of 'obvious but still shocking,' an animal called a 'killer whale' killed someone who was trying to play with it. Now, no one knows exactly what enraged the whale, but earlier in the week, it had been thrown off a flight by Southwest Airlines.
Bill MaherWell, that's exactly the wrong attitude. That is not the attitude they had in World War II. You're attitude is that freedom means you can do whatever you want whenever you want it. And that sacrifice is somehow un-American. [...] But the idea that we should also be defensive about our flaws and our weaknesses and our vulnerabilities is ridiculous.
Bill Maher