My father said, Bring along your best girl. This is something you say to a pimp!

Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass, and it translate to beef with broccoli. The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.

It's understandable why a minority that was treated as badly as blacks in this country have been for so long would, when they finally found themselves on top, brag about it and want to shout from the rooftops.

Don't wear bacon cologne. If you put on...you know what? Screw it. Wear it. If you are the type of guy who is tempted to wear bacon cologne, it's not like you could get laid any less.

A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid.

What does it take for Republicans to take off the flag pin and say, 'I am just too embarrassed to be on this team'?

If Jesus was a Jew, why did he have a Spanish name?