I don't know if you heard the news, but Wall Street now is a farmer's market. I don't want to say things are going downhill quickly, but Obama's new campaign slogan is 'Are you better off than you were four days ago?'
Bill MaherFaith means making a virtue out of not thinking. It's nothing to brag about...Religion is dangerous because it allows human beings, who don't have all the answers, to think that they do.
Bill MaherGeorge Bush says, 'Gore's book needs a lot of explaining.' Of course, Bush says that about every book.
Bill MaherNew Rule: Stop asking Miss USA contestants if they believe in evolution. Itโs not their field. Itโs like asking Stephen Hawking if he believes in hair scrunchies. Hereโs what they know about: spray tans, fake boobs and baton twirling. Hereโs what they donโt know about: everything else. If I cared about the uninformed opinions of some ditsy beauty queen, Iโd join the Tea Party.
Bill MaherIt's nine months before the election and Bush's poll numbers have fallen to the exact level that his father's poll numbers were nine months before he lost to Bill Clinton. Today front runner John Kerry said he's not superstitious, but just to be on the safe side, he's going to start f---ing everything that moves.
Bill Maher